So, one of the things I see very common for blogs is to do a top ten list. So, I thought I’d give that a shot by listing the top ten foods that I won’t even try. Here’s the problem… I couldn’t find that many. The truth is, I’m a fairly adventurous eater, and I think I might try almost anything.
For example, I found this list of things from around the world that are supposed to be super disgusting. To save you from clicking over, I’ll just say that people around the world have some really questionable culinary choices. But I have to say that I might actually eat a locust or try tarantula legs, or even try a nibble of Icelandic muktuk.
Yes, those three things on the surface are pretty unappetizing. I mean, bugs? Spiders? WHALE BLUBBER? But here’s the thing, people have been eating these things for thousands if not millions of years. Humans are omnivores, meaning we can eat a lot of weird shit. And like I always told my kids when they were growing up, you don’t have to eat it all, you just have to taste it.
With all that said, there are a few things I just don’t think I can do…
1: Boiled Okra.
I expect most people haven’t had this particular Southern “delicacy.” See, I like fried okra. Fried okra is delicious and crispy and tasty. Boiled okra… well, it’snot. And yes, you read that right, I meant to leave the space out of that, because really, boiled okra is snot. Oddly enough, I had a hard time finding a good picture of slimy, boiled okra, but trust me on this… It’s real. In fact, It kind of looks like this that picture to the right.
(As an after note, I did discover that while some people do PREFER okra to be slimy, it is actually a product of over-cooking it, so for what it’s worth…there’s that.)
2: Pickled Pigs Feet.
I mean, come on. Is there really anything for this? I mean look at this… The contents of that jar are utterly unsettling to me. Ugh… I know I’m probably being narrow minded on this but… <shiver>
3: Century Egg
Like most people, I find the unfertilized embryo of birds, particularly chickens, to be tasty when prepared correctly. Fried, scrambled, in a soup, in a cake… whatever. Right? Eggs are fucking delicious foods. But when you take that egg, bury it in clay, ash and salt for a few months then pull it out and expect me to eat it? You’re gods-damned high. Century eggs may be a delicacy in China, but they can keep them all. Legit, this thing terrifies me. And it smells like sulphur? Oh HELLS no.
I don’t know what it is with Asian countries and eggs, but this is another thing. Remember how just a few lines above I said “unfertilized” egg? Yeah, well apparently the people in the Philippines don’t take that threshold very seriously. Because Balut is a fertilized duck egg that is partly developed. Once it reaches the right stage, you boil it then eat it from the shell like a hard-boiled egg, except with salt, chilli and vinegar. Now, I really don’t want to be judgy of other people’s delicacy and customs, but for my part there is no way I could stomach this.
5: Deep Fried Butter.
Okay, so this one is not a matter of being something that triggers my gag-reflex. This is pure, instinctual survival. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t shy away from fried foods or even butter. I use butter to make my omelets and a ton of other dishes. And I simply adore fried chicken, empanadas, fried eggs and plenty of other fried things. BUT… after my one encounter with a deep fried Twinkie, I just can’t bring myself to take this next step. Frying a lump of butter just seems like the fastest way to make my heart explode. Sure, it may taste good, but is it worth it? While it’s made of food, I’m not sure this exactly qualifies in the category of “foods”.
Runner up: Scorpions.
I know they eat them in some places, but I’m not sure I could do that. I mean, these things are pure evil, like a thousand evil wasps (and wasps are pretty damned evil) rolled up into one, crawling psychopathic bug. So the idea of eating one, even if it’s dead, is extraordinarily terrifying to me. It’s just…
Then again, what better revenge than to eat your enemy.