If you’re reading this, you may have noticed that I tend to have sporadic periods where I don’t post anything on this blog. One of the reasons for this is because, unlike when writing fiction, I have a hard time coming up with things to write about. Well, things that I think other people will think is interesting. On top of that, I’m far from a subject-matter expert on really anything.
Recently though, I was poking around the Internets and came across a few lists of blog post ideas and, as I went through them, asked myself, “Who would write this? Even more importantly, who would want to read it?”
So, as a bit of an educational exercise, I decided to go through a few of those ideas and why I will not be using them. Side note, if these sound like things you would like to read about me, then please understand I’m not judging you. (Psst, I am quietly judging you)
- Scrutinize someone.
Okay, judgy much? First, I feel like the Internets is full of judgement, just share an opinion on Twitter or Facebook if you want to get scrutinized. Second, I really try not to be like that. I mean, I’m a complete asshole in my own head, but I do my best to keep it locked away. And, I think it’s just kind of being a dick to do that.
- Write about the use of an everyday object.
Um… Here’s how to use a can opener? Or, Did you know you can use your vacuum to suck up dustballs? Like, what the hell is this? Put your readers to sleep hour? Seriously, this one blew my mind. If you want a blog post on how to use an everyday object, try WikiHow or Quora.
- Write about past experiences.
A couple things on this one…1. I have shit memory, so any recollection I have is probably half fiction and half nightmare/wishful thinking. And if I write that down, it’s no longer a past experience, it’s just fiction. 2. Assuming I could remember, I’d probably make you want to kill yourself out of sheer boredom.
- Publish what you’re thinking about right now.
Okay, so this one wins, because I am writing this about how stupid these lists are, but that’s only a bit of serendipity, not intentional. Still stupid. (Really, most of the time you don’t want to know what’s in my nightmare-fueled brain.)
- Write an ultimate guide to something.
I guess I could write the ultimate guide to being boring. Seriously though, I’m not an expert on anything well enough to write a regular guide, much less an “ultimate” guide. And if you want the honest truth, most of the “ultimate” guides I’ve read out there are shit, so…
- Review software.
Excel is a nice program. Adobe InDesign works well. This one is just kind of weird to me. I mean, I use some fairly specific software for the day job, but it doesn’t really have general, mass-market appeal. Not to mention, I feel like this would be mind-numbing on the scale of reading a booklet of instructions you just got with that new dishwasher. Go watch some YouTube, I guarantee you’ll learn more and will probably be entertained as well.
- Review a film you saw in the last six months.
Okay, this one isn’t too bad, and I’ve done a few blog posts on this in the past. My problem here is that I usually don’t get to go to a movie terribly soon after its release. And, by the time I do, there are a bajillion reviews online, so it feels pretty pointless. With that said, I’ve done a few, though they don’t really get any interaction, but that’s a whole different problem.
- Talk about what you saw on your morning run.
Hahahahahahahahahaha… Oh, that’s serious? Let me try that again. <Ahem> Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…. Running. That’s funny.
- Clear up a common misconception.
Can I really get away with a blog post that just says, “Check Snopes”?
- Talk about your favorite bloggers.
So, this one kind of goes to the heart of my issues with blogging. Do people actually read blogs? I mean, I read news articles, but I really don’t read blogs. Honestly, I’ve never found one that makes me like, “Oh… has a new post come out?” and gotten me all excited like a TV show. Maybe this is just part of me being a boring, semi-apathetic person, and this is part of what’s weird about blogs (and me writing one), that I just don’t find other people’s opinions interesting enough for me to go read about them. I mean, people I don’t know. Maybe that makes me a bit of an asshole.
Well, there you go, 10 blog post ideas and why I think they’re stupid. I mean, obviously there are ways to use these topics to be creative, entertaining and funny. I know, because I just did it. See? Wasn’t that funny? C’mon… LAUGH DAMN IT!
Anyway… My apologies to the original person who came up with these ideas if I’ve offended you, I just can’t imagine myself reading a post on any of these things. But, hey… if you have readers for posts based on these topics, then, good for you.
I just won’t be one of them.