Hipster vs. Adult Child

This is just a bit of a vent.

My daughter said something the other day that kind of hit me like a slap across the face. She called me a hipster.

What? A hipster? I’m not some 21st century beatnik who only listens to unheard-of music and avoids the “popular” like the plague. So, in what twisted universe am I a hipster?

She gave me a bit of a list:

• I’m a writer.
• I meet with other writers in a coffee house/pub.
• I like craft beer.
• I have infused my own tequila.
• I have worked in social media.
• I have a goatee.
• Oh, and my head is shaved.

Ah… No. Well, that’s… Oh, hell no.

There are a few things that are somewhat common to hipsters that I sure as hell don’t do.

• I don’t live in an gentrified neighborhood (I’m just plain broke-assed)
• My pants are only ever tight because I like food too much.
• My sense of fashion is woefully nonexistent (much to my wife’s dismay with my grandpa-sneakers)
• I’m a huge nerd, as in playing Dungeons & Dragons, have a subscription to Popular Science, reading Comic books kind of nerd.
• My head is shaved, but mostly because 1: I did it on a whim a long time ago and my wife insisted I keep it, and 2: Don’t have much hair left anyway. Same with the goatee.
• I may be a writer and think typewriters are kind of cool, I would never actually use one. I love my spell check WAY too damn much.
• I may be a writer, but I write genre fiction. Scifi, fantasy… I, in no way, ever want to write the “Next great American literary novel.” To hell with that. I just have voices in my head that want to be put down on paper/in pixels.
• I will Never, Ever, Ever, EVER own an Iphone.
• The only time I ever grow more of a beard than the goatee is when I’m being lazy and don’t want to shave. Full beards are stupid and itchy as hell.
• I can usually only say that I did “that before it was cool,” because I’m a mean old man and the kind of stuff I like, was always “Nerdy” or for “dorks”. Now it’s become somewhat fashionable since nerds and dorks kind of rule. For me, though, I like it when that stuff becomes trendy. It provides a bit of validation. I’m not really interested in being a trend-setter. I just want the future to get here.
• And lastly, I’m pretty sure I’m too damn old to be a hipster.

So there. My list is longer than hers. I win.

Seriously, though. I think there is something of a fine line between being a hipster and being an adult child. I do like new things and toys. I like change and always moving on to the next thing. At the same time, there are some retro things I like, but that’s because I grew up with them.

Hipster or adult child? I don’t imagine most hipsters deal with aging joints and creaking backs.

Then again, I was a nerd before being a nerd was cool.